Jerry Seinfeld on Exercising
I like when people say,
“I want to start going to the gym”
So, why don’t you go?
“I don’t know.
I just don’t want to go”
But you want to go?
“Oh yes, I definitely want to go.”
Have you ever gone?
“No. Not one time. Ever.
But I want to.”
So, I think what you’re saying is
What you want
Is to want to go….?
“YES. I want to want to go”
So go….
“I don’t want to.”
Written sometime in the “Double 00’s”, the above comedy bit is one example of how Seinfeld was tuned into the thinking processes of many people. But what it also shows is that, at that same time, he was in tune with the smartest researchers looking into the conflicting, confusing workings of the human mind.
Our Split-Brain
Princeton Psychologist Daniel Kahneman explains in his 2012 book Thinking Fast and Slow how, when comes to making decisions, our brain is systematically, (not structurally) operating with 2 minds, with very different job descriptions.
To help us better understand this idea, Professor Kahneman suggested we think of the 2 systems as characters in a movie and give them nicknames to help clarify their personalities.
So meet Robin (System 1) and William (System 2).
Robin is constantly energized, automatic, fast thinking and emotional, the source of our intuitions, habits, instincts, biases, and what we sometimes refer to as our “second nature”.
In contrast, William’s energy supply has a daily budget and William is more deliberate, more logical and slow thinking. William is in charge of self-control and offering modifications to Robin’s suggestions when necessary.
In most cases, Robin’s suggestions are endorsed or modified by William and all runs smoothly. But sometimes, when William is out of energy and can’t help, the decisions made by Robin don’t always align with our best interests or intentions.
According to neuroscientists, the human brain is the pinnacle of evolutionary excellence, a wonder of science that processes more bits of information in thirty seconds, than the Hubble Space telescope processes in 30 years.
But there are still a few bugs in the system.
An Evolutionary Obstacle to Exercise ?
After watching an advertisement for a gym membership on TV, the conversation between Robin (System 1) and William System 2 with their Body (Patch) chiming in might go something like this:
Robin: My instincts tell me that exercise would be good for us, What do you think about it?
William: Hmm…Give me a couple seconds…hmm…Okay I’ve thought about it and no, I can’t afford the effort right now, I’m tired and just trying to decide will stress our cognitive ease.
Robin: Got it. Not a good time to try something new and different. Maybe tomorrow.
Patch: Hey, don’t I get a say? After all, it’s my butt on the line if you’re wrong and you two have a history of being off-base when it comes to what’s best for us.
Robin: You’re probably right Patch, but I’ll still have to refer to William. Complex issues like exercise are not in my job description.
Patch: Complex? Give me a break; we’re talking about moving around a little, not a triathlon.
William: I hear what you’re saying Patch, but here’s our problem with exercise; in these uncertain times we can never be certain when we’ll have to hunt down an antelope, or gather vegetables or be expected to engage in procreation.
Patch: Hunt down an antelope? You’re joking right? When was the last time we did that? What century are you living in?
William: Not sure, I think the 21st, and believe me, I hear you Patch, but we can’t be too careful. If we spend our limited energy on non-essentials like exercise, we risk not being selected in the survival of the fittest draft.
Patch: Survival of the fittest draft?
William: Yes, it’s becoming quite the thing and if we don’t get drafted, that means our knucklehead cousins could be chosen to pass on their genes and you know how they are Patch. That would not be good for evolution. It’s very complicated.
Patch: Complicated our gluteus-maximus. It’s simple, if we don’t pay attention to my well-being, I can’t be held responsible for the consequences. It won’t be pretty. Please back me up on this Robin.
Robin: I’m sorry Patch, but I can’t help with this, When not advised by William, I choose the least effort and in this case the least effort is to not exercise.
Patch: Wimp!
Robin: William! Did you hear what he called me?
William: Pay him no mind Robin, let’s go watch TV and eat as much food as we can gather.
Robin: Sounds good to me. Patch sure can be a killjoy at times. Do you agree?
William Yep. That’s a no-brainer.
Patch: Ugh!!
Robin/William - Decide to Join a Gym
Robin: I have a brochure here from the gym we’re joining. Want to hear about it?
William: Not really, I’ve got a bad feeling about this….Serenity now! Serenity now!
Robin: Listen up. It says here the first thing is that we have to wear special clothes.
William: What’s wrong with what we have on now?
Robin: Don’t know. Then we have to leave our house.
William: No way. We just got home.
Robin: And we have to go to the Gym, it’s called Planet Buffness.
William: What Planet?
Robin: It says here we will be using “state-0f-the-art” equipment.
Williams: But we have trouble working the toaster.
Robin: And we will be exercising with other people.
William: But we don’t like most other people!
Robin: It says we will be exercising for 30-45 minutes
William You’ve got to be kidding! Have we joined the army?
Robin: No, but it says we’ll probably work up a sweat
William: If we wanted to sweat, we’d take a steam.
Robin: Now this is troubling; says not to expect any results for a while.
William: Now they’re just messing with us, right?
Robin: And it’s not cheap.
William: We have to pay for this torture?
Robin: This is a lot of money to pay for no fun and no results.
William; They should be paying us! What’s their refund policy?
Robin: Not sure, I’ll ask them if paying us is an option. That makes more sense, doesn’t it Patch?
Patch: We’re doomed.
Robin/William/Patch - Try an APPECIZER
Robin: I’ve downloaded this new video exercise app, the INDYFIT APPECIZER
William: We’re done with exercise. Too much effort, feels bad. Next idea.
Robin: Something tells me this will be different. Look, a funny dog begins the first video and there’s a beautiful waterfall. All the videos are scenery it says here. Each ending with a surprise INDYfact and GIF.
William: Let me see that. Are you certain this is an exercise app. Sounds more like a travel app.
Robin: Just press play. Don’t overthink it.
William: Okay, Okay. Don’t rush me. Hmm…cute dog, waterfall? Pleasant music. And the dancing dog GIF is great. No stress watching that.
Robin: Just press the button.
William: What’s the catch? Must be in the exercises. Real hard I bet.
Robin: I’m feeling good about this William. Let’s try just the first APPECIZER, It’s only 3 exercises in less than 2 minutes. How hard can that be.
William: I guess we’ll find out but no stress at all so far..
Robin: Please just press the button!
William: Oh yeah, Sorry. Forgot about that.
(Presses the play button)
Robin: Wow! That was different. Didn’t even seem like we were exercising. What did you think William?
William: Yes. Less Effort. What did you think?
Robin: Feels Great
William: Less Effort.
Robin: Feels Great.
William: Less Effort!
Robin: Feels Great!! This mindless banter is fun.
William: What do you think Patch?
Patch: Sounds like a Commercial.
William: No, about the APPECIZER video.
Patch: We’re moving and no complaints from you two. Success! Next Video!